I've given up on finding a romantic partner.

I've been in four major relationships, each lasting about a year, with one lasting
almost two years.

1. We were both young and mutually clingy, and spent time constantly together. It became
difficult when I moved off to college, but we actually we able to keep it going well into
a year of my college career. She was the one who introduced me to sex, but I found that I
wasn't a very sexual person.

2. I really liked this girl. In fact, she really liked me back, but for several months
neither of us could make a move, despite having dinner dates together etc. She invited me
to her family during the summers and I've drive 3 hours to visit her (she went to uni
locally, but her home was a few hours away). The problem was that she was just too
detached. While II wanted more time together, she felt the time was enough. We spent maybe
1 hour per week, and she lives like a 15 minute walk, plus had a car. I ended up cutting
this off because she wouldn't include me in her circle of friends so I would often
get ditched in favor of them,

3. She was a good girlfriend. There were some waves where she became emotionally distant
suddenly, but overall she acquainted me with her many friends and family. The only problem
I think that arose her was that my Aspie tendencies caused be to become overwhelmed in
these situations, and I'd often decline, which I could tell upset here. Also, I took
school/work very seriously and she didn't so much, so perhaps I did give her the
attention she deserved at times.

4. Before dating, we were close friends ('besties') for nearly 4 years. She had
liked me all along since the beginning, but I was dating the other girls or was in a
period where I was not seeking a relationship. But back in late 2012, she moved back to
Seattle and we started hanging out more and more again, to the point that we decided to go
on a trip to Alaska in the May 2013. We've gone on trips in the past, even camping
down in the California Redwoods, so it wasn't unusual for us. However, during this
trip we decided we wanted to become a couple. And so it happened. Back home, our work
schedules were different, but we'd spend at least the weekend together, and at times
it was 60% of her free time spent with me and 40% with her friends. One day though, she
was admitted into the nursing program back in her hometown, and from then ownward I knew
the relationship would eventually falter. And it did. Unfortunately, though, I tried to
move closer to her on Bainbridge Island, adding a longer commute to my daily routine, and
the loneliness of living out in a area of a much older age cohort. Within a month of me
moving there, she started producing reasons as to why she couldn't hang out -
regardless of whether they were valid or not, I was shocked that even today (over a year
later) we no longer talk as friends, despite being so good friends for many years.

?. This one wasn't much of a relationship. Though we did meet up on OkCupid, and at
this time I had already identified as asexual, which I was outright about. Ironically we
work at the same company, one floor apart, which was something that made me feel really
connected. Regardless of her heterosexuality, she was quite interested, and the first
night we hung out she spent the night over (it was Halloween night, and we watched some
scary episodes). A weekend later, the same thing. Throughout this first month of knowing
each other, we would constantly talk over Microsoft Communicator at work, over text, or
Facebook chat. But then suddenly we started hanging out less and less, and I would say
about 90% of what we planned fell through. Even simple things like getting lunch together
at work - she has always said she had already ate; in fact, we have never had a lunch date
together. We were supposed to hang out Thanksgiving after I got back visiting my uncle in
California, but she said she was too exhausted, and that she needed to clean her place
first. I still haven't seen her place, and we both have cars so that is not a
blocking issue. What bothered me in particular that weekend was that I had gotten in a
fight with my uncle, and I really needed some social support. I texted her once per day,
but she never responded the whole Thanksgiving weekend. Her reasoning was that her friend
reads her texts, but she also mentioned she simply doesn't hang around with friends
very often at all. Even my former roommate who was FB friends with her noted it seemed
like she was quite chatty at least through the internet. Note that I even bought her these
$300 noise-cacelling headphones for her birthday/Christmas, and I don't expect
anything back of the matter. Moreso just an honest reliable friend who says what they
mean.

Ironically, at this point in time she wants to roommate with me, and though part of me
wants that, another part sees the truth. Intuitively, something does not feel right. She
criticizes me for not making sense, but her failure to adhere to plans, and now to not
even respond to messages online (often with just resorting to 'i'm busy'
when the conversation gets to any meaningful point). That was 3pm today, and it's
midnight - I did text her an hour ago telling her "I hope you feel better". No
response.

Mostly everyone seems opposed to continuing this with her, and that half of me that senses
deeply into the heart to others. I may lack theory of mind, but theory of heart is
different. And to recap, we decided this to be on a friendship/roommate level, but I would
appreciate a friend to be available to hang out a bit more if they worked so close
together.

I think the best thing to do at this point is to not pursue anything further unless she
initiates it, and simply be very cautious with adhering if she actually does propose
plans.

I've already tried talking to her, but even time she'll say she 'has to
go' or that she's busy and doesn't feel well.